Somehow it got easy to laugh out loud

I see myself change as the days change over.

   We've Been Had, The Walkmen (inc. title)

Hey All, 

Yeah, if you read my last post, you may be surprised that I've come back.  But I've started my adventure and it's given me a much different and more positive perspective on things.

I've been writing ... a lot.  In all honesty, I can't even keep up with it at the end of the day.  My routine is typically this - wake up, breakfast, walk (that's right, very little running until I'm convinced that my body can handle it), check in, stare blankly at wall for a few minutes, unpack some essentials, stretch and roll, tend to my poor left foot which is blistered to h3ll, shower (fingers crossed that the place I'm staying at has hot water and/or pressure), dinner and pints, return to room to stretch one last time and then lay out and write for a bit.  It's gotten to the point where I have so much to jot down, that I just bullet point the vast majority of the events from every day and plan to elaborate once this whole thing is over.

This said, I haven't walked away from documenting some of the more relevant events.  One was deeply personal and quite detailed and I had considered blogging it (yes, I am a hypocrite as I alluded to in my last post ... whatevs).  However, after getting some good advice from Nelson, I've decided against laying it all out in this Post.  I will, however, touch on it in the second part of "the two things I've learned so far in Scotland".

First ... there is no camera in this world that will ever come close to capturing, accurately, the immensity and beauty of Scotland's diverse and open spaces.  However, just when you stop to appreciate the wonder, the weather and the landscape itself attacks, tears through your core like a buckshot and leaves you hollow and broken.  I've been left despondent and beaten so many times in the past few days and have wanted nothing more than to give up.  But I trudge on just as the Scots would.  Get on and get at it ... as I'm sure they would say.

Now on to the second part which I alluded to earlier.  I've lived my life feeling as though my self-imposed isolation protected me and is, in fact, my friend.  When I failed to go out, it gave me reason to stay in.  Whenever I left early, it gave me a reason to do so.  But as I walk on alone, I've come to realize it's logic is flawed.  It's rationale is, actually, irrational.  This confidante, who has guided me for so long, is not my friend, it is my enemy.  My life left unfulfilled because I've been listening to a liar.

It's one thing to acknowledge a personal flaw ... and I'm glad I have.  However, it's an entirely different challenge to face it. At this point, I'm still not sure I can but I do hope somewhere along this route, I'll build up the courage to do so.

That's all for now.  Hope to be back in touch once I reach Edinburgh in a couple of days.

Craig